My Blog Is An Awesome Blog: Crafty Crap

Friday, January 13, 2012

Crafty Crap

HANA: My favorite part of school is doing crap.
ME: What was that?
HANA: Crap time at school! You know, momma, we do crap at home too.
ME: (Shocked & not having a clue where to take this) We do? What exactly do we do?
HANA: You know, when we do crap. We do lots of different crap. We do crap all the time. Sometimes you help me and sometimes I do crap all by myself.
ME: Can you be more specific? When do we, um, when was the last time we did this?
HANA: Hmmm...Well, yesterday we did crap, remember? I painted Sarah's gift bag.
ME: (Still uncertain) And what was the last thing you did at school during this favorite time?
HANA: We painted snowflakes!
ME: Oh! Craft! You mean craft!
HANA: Yea, momma, crap. What did you think I was talking about, huh?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: She is right on.It's all crap !! Drive on dear even with all the crap.; January 14, 2012 6:51 AM
Anonymous said...: When you're 60 years young be sure you do crap daily. xxxooo!; January 14, 2012 6:59 AM
Anonymous said...: Most of the time my craft does look like crap!; January 14, 2012 7:38 AM

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Things Hana says...

We shopped for Hana some new clothes today (more on that to come) and in the dressing room she became more and more excited with each outfit she tried on, at one point exclaiming, "The question is 'will I wear it?' and the answer is 'you bet I will!'"
HANA: You'll never guess what we did at school today. We danced! ME: How did you dance? HANA: A little different than you.
HANA: I don't want my name to be Hana anymore. I want it to be Julia. ME: That's a pretty name, too, but Hana is the beautiful name daddy and I picked for you. HANA: But Julia is more beautiful! It has JEWEL in it! Will you please call me Julia from now on? Or how about Jewel? ME: Okay. HANA: Say "Okay, Jewel." ME: Okay, Jewel. When I was a little girl I wanted my name to be Monica. HANA: Okay! You call me Julia or Jewel and I'll call you Mommika! Now we need to find a new name for daddy!
HANA: Momma, what are we doing today? ME: It's a surprise! HANA: Oh, what could it be? ME: What would you like it to be? HANA: A ride in a helicopter! Or maybe going back to Fliorida? (Wow. Playing at the park with a good friend is sounding pretty lame!)
Momma, when I grow up I want to work where Geegaw works so I can put lurkers in cages.
She must be missing her cousin Brad because she keeps finding things for him to do. She wondered what would happen if we didn't have a steering wheel on the van, but said Brad could push us. He knows how to build houses, so he could push our car. Her handle fell off her scooter. Brad could fix that.
(Yesterday morning on our way to the hospital) HANA: Is Mr. Guthrie going to be all by himself today? ME: Yes, but he'll be okay. He stays home every day whe Ninny & Geegaw are at work. GANA: But what if he gets up on our counters?
ME: (putting Hana to bed last night) Maybe we can watch Lady & the Tramp tomorrow night. HANA: Oh! Movie night rocks me out of my bed!
Momma, I can't wait to be twenty. It's the best part of life!
Could I stop eating right now & eat more later? My hands are sweaty from holding the fork.

A look into Hana's make-believe world...

I cannot believe I just said that!

Get your head out of the toilet! What are you looking at?!
Let go of Flurry!
Close the refrigerator and put some panties on. This is the last time I'm going to say it.
You're about to get your rear whooped. (Who am I? Who says that? Seriously?)
Get your face out of his (Guthrie's) rearend.
Well, why are your titties sad? (I totally meant to say kitties. Hope I didn't just teach her a new word. YIKES!)
"No! No! Don't eat the poop!" (Well, it wasn't really poop)
No, you can't use that flower to paint with. Yes, you can use THAT one.
Get your naked hiney off the kitchen floor & put your panties and shorts back on.
"Yes, Hana, you may put a little water in that, but no, you may not bathe Heart right now. We need to leave. She can bathe herself."
"Hana, why are you bent over looking at your hiney in the mirror like that?"
"Hana, put the monkey's head back on, please!"
"Get the beads out of your pants!"